I am learning my ways around the kitchen from this highly hilarious piece of literature on food: "
Appetites for Thought: Philosophers and Food" by Michel Onfray.
"It is a pity that we have to deplore the absence of the essential – tears, laughter, wine, women, food and pleasure – in the beautiful artificial machinery that is the oeuvre of Hegel... A few paces behind him the niggardly Victor Cousin makes his way. He once confided that he understood Kant's 'Critique of Pure Reason' the day when, in a German restaurant, a monumental plate was brought to the table, piled high with vegetables and garnishes, topped off with a ridiculously thin slice of meat: the basics reduced to very little..."
Read it for style, if not for substance. Cuz it gets twisted here and there, which may affect your digestion:
"Others err through lack of conformity in their food. Thus the divine Marquis de Sade who, putting nourishment in the service of sexuality, elevates chicken breasts to the pinnacle, theorizing that they produce the most succulent stools for the greediest of coprophages... Distantly related to this are Claude Lévi-Strauss's dining companions, who treated him royally with a bowl of nice white grubs, wriggly and crunchy on the tooth, but in the end releasing subtle flavours and delicate aromas... On this question, we have to say a few words on the topic of spermatophages and their close companions the foetophages. Epiphanius relates that Gnostics wanting to take care of unwanted pregnancies retrieve the foetus with their fingers and, 'pound it in a kind of mortar, mix it with honey, pepper and various revolting condiments including perfumed oils'. They took this meal together, eating with their fingers..."
And then:
"Always the cynic, Grimod would test the faithfulness of his friends gastronomically by sending them notes announcing his death. He invited them to a meal in his memory. Thinking themselves liberated forever from an eccentric, the opportunists who were only lukewarm friends failed to show up. Others took the trouble..."
You get the drift.
Introduction: The Banquet of the Omnivores
I: Diogenes — The Taste of Octopus
II: Rousseau — The Milky Way
III: Kant — Ethical Alcoholism
IV: Fourier — The Pivotal Little Pie
V: Nietzsche — The Sausages of the Anti-Christ
VI: Marinetti — The Excited Pig
VII: Sartre — The Revenge of the Crustaceans
Conclusion: The Gay Science of Eating